ARGH!

Before I had Kylie the plan was that I would go back to work part time and my Dad would watch her 3 days a week (m-w-f).  Well, it turns out that nothing is as I thought it would be.

First failure point is that my work is unwilling to do any part time option in the long term even though they told me before I had her that they were flexible for me to take extra time after she was born.  This just totally sucks and had us thinking about me staying home.  But it's hard to say good-bye to a good paying job these days and honestly it's just not do-able for us.  Maybe if we didn't need to pay for house insurance, property taxes, car maintenance, house maintenance, etc.  But you get the idea, it's just not really an option not to have my income. 

Next, my Dad is a sweet man, loves Kylie and has the best of intentions but he just doesn't seem to be getting the hang of how to care for her.  He's been coming over for two hours every weekday this month and he still lets her cry harder than I want her to and seems the most comfortable when she's sleeping or cooing.  Let's be honest, she's only going to do that for 1/2 of the day and I can't go to work and wonder if she's screaming her head off at home.  Plus he's 70 and can't get down on the floor and play with her.  It's clear to me that he's better suited for babysitting while M and I go out to dinner, not full day care like we need.

So last Thursday and Friday after returning from our road trip M and I decided we needed to go to day cares and see what they were all about.  Luckily we found two that we are comfortable with (out of the six that we went to) and they both had one opening.  So yesterday I went to observe for an hour at each to make the final decision.  I left the first feeling a little sad because the only time babies were held is to be fed or changed.  Happily the 2nd was different and one person was always on the floor holding and playing with the babies. 

So I go to the front office to sign Kylie up and I was told the one opening had been taken.  ARGH!  So sometime between Friday at noon and Monday at noon her spot got taken.  And the kicker..next full time spot opening is in January.  Double ARGH!  The silver lining is that they have room for her full time on T & Th and also W morning starting Sept 1.  A couple other bright spots are that we're first on the waiting list for the first available full time spot and my boss has agreed that at least for Sept I can take two half days off. 

I guess that leaves the plan to be that Kylie will be at our house and watched by my Dad all day Monday and Friday morning (which I'm nervous about).  She'll be in day care T, W (morn only) and Th (which I'm sad about).  Then I'll be with her on W & F afternoon (YIPPY!).  Who knows what will happen if my work isn't ok with the two afternoons off until I can get a full time spot at day care.  I guess that would leave my Dad watching her 2.5 days which I'm not a big fan of. 

My last week with her is underway and I'm so anxious and sad to be leaving her =(  Sorry this has been kind of a blah post I guess I'm just processing having to leave my little girl.  I think I'll probably have more separation anxiety than she will.  Anyway, I'll include a picture of Kylie so it ends on a happy note!